so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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