morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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