Just fell off a train. Bad.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
