How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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