You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
