Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize