Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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