I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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