i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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