Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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