yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
