is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
