so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
