Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ttyl tear gas
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
