today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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