How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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