the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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