can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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