i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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