He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
