We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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