also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
