sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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