making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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