2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
