I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
