every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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