Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
