Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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