I'm eating all of the evidence.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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