I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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