I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
