he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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