Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
