I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
