Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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