It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
