he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
