Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
