But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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