My hand turned me down
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
