so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize