I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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