There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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