Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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