i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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