people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
