I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
