He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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