I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
