i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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