New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
