You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
what day is it and did you see me today?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
