That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
