No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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