it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
