i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
