i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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