I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
