The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
