That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
